What is a Funeral Wake?
A wake takes place after the funeral. It is an event where close friends and family of the deceased gather together. The wake is usually held in a local hall, or nearby pub, and food and drink are served. You will need to organise the wake separately from the funeral, as they are two distinct events. While the funeral may be largely organised by the funeral directors, the wake will need to be organised by the family. However, here at NC Funerals Directors we will always provide you with support and advice during this difficult time.
What Happens at a Funeral Wake?
At a wake, the mourners will gather together and talk about how they knew the deceased, and share stories and memories about them. There will usually be food and drink served, and it provides an opportunity for friends and family to come together and share. Wakes are usually held a short distance from the church or crematorium, such as at a local village hall, or a nearby pub with a function room.
Funeral Wake Etiquette
It can be hard to know what to expect at a funeral or wake if you haven’t attended one before. In general, all the mourners will be invited to the wake after the funeral service. However, if you are unsure of what to do, you can always check with another mourner or a member of the deceased’s family.
Who Should Attend a Wake?
In general, mourners will be invited to attend the wake after the funeral. If you cannot attend the wake, this is perfectly acceptable. People rarely just attend the wake, without attending the funeral.
What to Wear to a Wake
As the wake follows on from the funeral, you will be in the same clothes that you wore to the funeral. Generally, people wear black or muted colours to funerals, however, some people will ask the mourners to wear bright, cheerful clothes in celebration of the life of their loved one. If you have not been asked to wear something in particular, then a smart black or dark outfit is the best option.
What to Bring to a Wake
You don’t need to bring anything to a wake. You could bring a commiseration card to give to the family, but generally, you don’t need to bring anything. Some people may have taken flowers to the funeral, though often families ask for donations to a charity that was dear to their loved one, rather than flowers. If you know the family of the deceased well, you could offer to bring food for the wake, but often people use caterers to provide the food and drinks.
Step-by-Step Guide to Planning a Wake
As the wake follows on from the funeral, you will need to plan the funeral before you plan the wake. Your funeral directors will be able to help you with the timings so that you know what time the funeral service will finish. You will then need to allow time for the mourners to move to the venue for the wake. Once you have the time and date agreed, then you can book a venue. Contact the venues directly and check whether they have availability. Funerals are normally on a weekday, so it is often easier to find an available venue. Once you have found a venue you need to arrange some food and drinks. If you have chosen a pub, they will be able to provide you with a buffet package, or you can put money behind the bar. If you have chosen a hall, ask the hall, as they will probably have a list of caterers. If you want to cater for yourself, then speak to your friends and family to make sure that you can all help to organise food and drinks. When you invite people to the funeral, you can then mention the wake afterwards, and make sure to invite people to the wake at the end of the funeral.
FAQs About Funeral Wakes
1. Is a wake required after a funeral?
While a wake is not required after a funeral, it is a nice opportunity for the mourners to gather together and share fun stories and memories in a more relaxed environment.
2. How Long Does a Wake Last?
Wakes can last anywhere from an hour onwards, but it is okay to leave before the end if you have prior engagements or responsibilities.
3. What to Say at a Funeral Wake?
Wakes are a chance to talk about the deceased. If you are unsure what to say, ask a fellow mourner how they knew the deceased, and they will share their stories and memories with you.
4. What do you do at a funeral wake?
At a wake, you spend time talking about the deceased and sharing your special memories of them.
5. What are some alternatives to a traditional wake?
Some people choose to do an activity rather than a traditional wake, for example, going for a walk.
NC Funeral Directors Are By Your Side
We appreciate that dealing with the death of a loved one is incredibly difficult. We will be here for you throughout the process, to provide support and advice. If you want suggestions on planning the wake, please come to us, and we will help you. Speak to the compassionate and knowledgeable team at NC Funeral Directors today, on 01253 420 450